5:11 a.m.

is when I got out of bed this morning.  It should have been 5, but I hit the snooze button once.  Just once.  Then, I drug myself into the shower and stood underneath the water, waiting for it to bring me to life.  Then, when I was partially revived, I did the next most logical thing:  trudged down the stairs and stared blankly at the coffee pot while it made my 8 cups.  (not all for me) I know I could just take it out when it had made enough for one cup, but it doesn't taste the same.  Or at least not to me.  My Marine thinks I'm crazy.  I am very particular about my coffee.  He usually makes it because my coffee stinks. It never tastes the same twice, and that really aggravates me.  And I have this problem where I can't tell if it is too weak or too strong.  All I can tell is that it isn't right, but I have no way to fix it.  I think I may be the only one who has this problem...it seems so obvious, and I don't know why I can't tell.  Anyway, blah blah blah.  I have my coffee right by me, and it is good this morning.  Real good.  Thanks Marine.
Why am I here this early?  I'll tell you why.  I'm on a quest, and have been for a while.  A quest for a disciplined life! (another area I stink in) I was fretting yesterday because I couldn't figure out how to squeeze more time into my day for things I want to do, like having a real blog that I actually pay attention to, editing photos, and research.  You would think that someone without a full time job would just have gobs of time. This stint in VA is the first time I've had this much free time in which to fill my schedule how I choose.  And it is pretty full with volunteering at the local Crisis Pregnancy Center, hosting Bible Study once a week, church, OCF, nannying, and taking good care of my Fly Guy, running, and making sure my fat dog gets enough exercise. And of course doing photo sessions and pouring over the editing for hours while in a state of self-loathing because I am a ridiculous perfectionist, and expect to just be at the top of the ladder in one year without having to work at it.  That's never happened with anything in my life, but for some reason, I act like it should.  BUT, with all of that said, I know that there are many women out there who do twice as much as I do, who probably have full time jobs and kids.  Which drives me to further self loathing, and finally to the conclusion that pouting does no good, and I just have to do something about it.  I have understood that for a while now, and have had brief periods of time where I'm wildly productive and organized and efficient with my time. Brief like as in one day.  I know my problem is not that my schedule it too busy, it is that I am not efficient with my time.
This blog post is getting too long, so I am just going to outline my plan.  Why?  I don't know.  Maybe I feel like putting out there for the 6 or so people who might occasionally read my blog will be some kind of accountability.
Anyway, here is my mission statement:
I am going create habits in my life that will lead to me BECOMING a disciplined person.

 Being undisciplined is not glorifying to God.  Proverbs 16:3 says "Commit your works to the Lord, and your thoughts will be established." I am committing to serve Him by organizing my day in such a way that I have adequate time to devote to my real priorities: knowing, loving and serving God, which includes serving my husband and meeting his needs with a cheerful heart, and serving those around me by giving of my time and love. Photography is important to me, but I must make sure it always comes behind my true priorities.
All of this is why I decided to get up at 5:11 am this morning.  I want more time to work on blogging, photog stuff etc, and I can't take time away from what's truly important.  That leaves me with 2 options:  don't do it, or make more time in my day.  Getting up at 5 gives me 2 extra hours (I normally get up at around 7) to piddle on the computer, and nothing gets short-changed.
Maybe this seems crazy.  Being efficient seems to come naturally for some people, but not for me.  Like my dad always said: "Nothing worth having comes easy."

Now let's see how long this lasts.  ;)